Maybe I'm in a bad mood because I burnt my toast, but this game is terrible. Allow me to explain... We play the badly dressed Hitman, who is from Hell. Born with the terrible Parkinsons disease, his arm is constantly trembling, making him shoot in random directions everytime he pulls the trigger. Well, that's the only excuse I can think of. So I begin the first level. A cartoon Devil leans up against a tree in the distance. His beady eyes staring blankly at me. I was hungry, and wanted to make some more toast. Cautiously I sneak past him, on with my sneaky quest. Unfortunately, I suck at Geography, and in case I don't realise that I have to walk to the opposite of the non-scrolling screen when there is no where else to go on every level, a handy flag shows me where it is. How considerate. Before I know it, I am surrounded! 3 minitare cranes lie in wait! What can I do?!? I know the tension is killing you, so I'll tell you! I grabbed my gun and shot! My futile attempts at aiming were wasted, and I am immediately destroyed by white squares. On my next attempt, I run right up to the cranes and fire. Success! I was so quick, they never even had chance to shoot! All 3 cranes have been abolished! On with my mission! On the next screen I am attacked by more cranes! And the next, and the next. I was beggining to see a pattern here... To be honest, I never got further than that screen. I went to get some toast instead. I couldn't bring myself to continue after that. It's absolutely terrible. Most of the graphics come free with TGF, and there is no music. It's bad. Really bad. Don't play it.
More Like Junk from hell
Date: Tuesday, January 18, 2005 at 22:03:16
From: Kazooie Fan
this is the worst piese of **** I ever played. But at least its better than vectorman legends.
unfair and frankly rude
Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2005 at 21:30:40
this isn't positive critisism... and i'm both offended and shocked that as far as i'm concerned can't do any better... fair enough is harry wood posted these comments who am i to argue? i know for a FACT he can do a lot better! but Sadie...........
Not the worst TGF I've played but one of the worst.
There's not much I can say about this game and judging by the reviews it's obviously not worth downloading.
Date: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 at 13:51:23
From: bob grumpton
this game is almost redeemed by the highly funny review. it's not the worst game on the site though. have you played that game with the camel in it. awesome.
The proper review
Date: Saturday, October 6, 2007 at 16:07:07
Maybe I'm in a bad mood because I also burnt my toast this morning, some 3 years after Sadie did on that cold night of December 6th 2004. I can see where he was coming from though; frustrated with a game so easy to beat must send anyone a little insane. All you have to do is hold the right key and keep tapping ctrl to shoot. Except on the last frame (5) which is the boss, but still he’s only one shot to kill and on this frame you shoot straight rather than randomly in multiple directions, which you’ll find you do throughout the rest of the game.
There are questions to be asked about the game; “What are those orange enemies that shoot at you on frames 2-4?” Sadie referred to them as “Cranes” but if you look closely you’ll notice they’re in a humanoid shape and appear to be holding a weapon in the fashion of a gun, but it looks more like a dagger or sword. Never-the-less it shoots at you with lasers leading me to the concluding question; “are these creatures supposed to be aliens or just badly drawn people?”
Another question is this. “What is the weapon you collect on the first frame for?” the obvious answer isn’t to shoot, because you can already open fire using the ctrl key before collecting it, so why’s it there? Perhaps it was originally going to be the weapon that allowed you to shoot but this concept were later changed, only for the creator to forget and accidentally leave the weapon still collectable on the first frame but ultimately it does nothing. And of course don’t forget that this game is only a demo of the never released full version, so all I can think is that it would have later been removed.
Anyway, perhaps it’s time for me to leave this review now, before it turns into some kind of essay. Not report mind you as I’ve spoke personally.
The game overall isn’t worth the download, but it’s a very good to start – this is Alex’s first ever game and I believe it shows potential that Alex could become the next E-man. My first game was much worse than this, and it wasn’t Flug The Slug, that was like my 5th.
Are there any last words? Well yes. This game is the perfect example of how to start on your journey to becoming a Clickteam master; it’s a pity Alex gave it up.
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